Pros & Cons of Private Vows vs. Ceremony Vows (for Photos)
Writing personal vows is one of the most meaningful parts of a wedding day. But here’s the big decision: do you read them privately or in front of all your guests during the ceremony? From a photography perspective, both options can be beautiful - but they do create very different dynamics.
Here are the pros and cons of private vows vs. ceremony vows, especially when it comes to your wedding photos.
The Pros of Private Vows
1. Gives You Something to Do During Your First Look
For my not-so-emotional couples (or my very type-A couples), reading vows privately gives you a natural “task” during the first look. It sounds silly, but sometimes having something to do makes the moment feel easier and less awkward.
2. A Space for Big Emotions
If you know you’re going to cry, stumble, or otherwise get super emotional, private vows let you release those emotions without 250 people watching. From a photo perspective, it can feel more relaxed - the images are still emotional and raw, but without the pressure of a full audience.
3. A Shorter Ceremony (Your Guests Will Thank You)
When couples do private vows, the ceremony itself is often shorter. That’s a win for guests (and honestly, for you, too). You can still include traditional vows in the ceremony if you’d like, but the heavier, personal content happens beforehand.
4. The Vows Are for You, Not Your Guests
At the end of the day, vows are promises you’re making to each other. It makes sense that the most personal words might be shared in a private setting instead of a public one. From a photography standpoint, those private photos often feel more “you” because you’re not editing yourself for the crowd.
The Cons of Private Vows
Honestly? There aren’t many. Private vows are wonderful if they feel right for you. But here are two potential drawbacks to keep in mind:
1. It Might Cut Into Portrait Time
If your schedule is tight, taking 15–20 minutes for private vows could eat into bride and groom portraits. The good news? Because your ceremony will probably be shorter, you’ll often get that time back later in the day.
2. Guests Don’t Hear Your Promises
Some couples love the idea of declaring their vows in front of family and friends. If that’s important to you, you may feel like something is missing if you keep everything private. A good compromise? Share private vows before the ceremony, then still recite traditional vows in front of your guests.
The Bottom Line
Private vows vs. ceremony vows is really a personal choice, and there’s no wrong answer. Private vows tend to create intimate, emotional moments for photos, while ceremony vows bring everyone into the story. Either way, your vows are one of the most meaningful parts of the day - and your photos will reflect that.